Tags: politics



Shortpacked!: Violence solves everything.

Those of you watching the news may have heard that Senator Ted Kennedy suffered seizure-like symptoms and was admitted to a hospital. He was later diagnosed with a malignant cancerous growth in his brain. One of the most loved, respected, and influential members in the Senate, Kennedy is looking at a long battle for his very life.

My good friend Bruce Tinsley, who writes a strip named Mallard Fillmore, has told me that he plans to spend several weeks on the subject. Since he's so excited, he's given me a sneak peek at upcoming material that I felt I should share. Enjoy!


When Fangry met Annie

Joyce and Walky!: A very clean joke.

Maybe I don't watch Larry King Live often enough, but tonight's political roundtable panel was populated strangely. Ben Stein I can understand. Penn Jellette, maybe. But one of the guys from that Goes To White Castle movie? Fran Drescher? The son of Patty Duke? What a random bunch.

Fangry takes flight

Hey, remember when I wished my Fangry had wings? Well, thanks to a reader, now he does! And now Christopher C, as we shall call him, will never have to pay for subscription Joyce & Walky! ever again.

Finally, the winged gargoyle wolf returns. My friend Graham (an alleged biologist) says that he looks more like a rat than a wolf, so here he is hanging out with one of his rodent friends. Say hello, Annie! Say hel-- no, Annie! No chewing! No chewing the crotch! Bad Annie!

Well, at least now Fangry can fly away from hungry hams.

BotCon 2008

For the first time ever, the attendee exclusive figure (free to any attendee who bought the big toy set) was revealed before the start of the convention. It's Ricochet. Check him out. He doesn't really look much like an evil mirror-verse Ricochet, especially without flames or the white head, but I find him visually appealing regardless. Hell, maybe he'll be my real evil mirror-universe Jazz, since the one they're giving us looks just like Jazz with evil stickers.

Naw, who am I kidding. I'm a bitch to fiction.

Hyperbole: The best spam ever.

Shortpacked!: Silly adorable Amber.

Best e-mail spam title I've seen in a while: "It's Groundhog Day, but I am alone."

My Feb/March '08 Transformers Fan Club magazine came in the mail, and I'm pretty happy. Powerglide looks great in color (or the lack of it), and we get our first look at the upcoming Nightbeat club exclusive. It's obviously a Photoshop of a gray hardcopy/prototype or something, and it's only the vehicle mode, but it gives us some sense of what he'll look like. Woo, yellow lining along the bottom of the car! Yay, flames on doors! Here's hoping the new head turns out well. If not, there will be riots in the streets! (Is it still technically a riot if it is just me?)

According to Joesightings.com, the next wave of G.I. Joe comic book 2-packs are showing up. Dagnabbit, I still haven't found Breaker/Destro! Here's hoping that set is also in this new assortment... Or maybe I should just bite the bullet and order it from Big Bad Toy Store as one reader suggested, though I just know as soon as I do, that thing's gonna pop up at my local Target the next day.

Super Tuesday is tomorrow in the United States. For those of you in the twenty or so states voting in primaries, vote how I'd want you to! I'm not going to tell you here what that is. If you're a true Shortpacked! fan, you'll receive instructions via the mental link we share.


((Just kidding.))

too!, Frenzy wants to read

The Ronald Reagan I Knew

Shortpacked!@TNI: I would so totally buy this.
Shortpacked!: Robin is a foot soldier in the "Reagan cleans the bathroom" revolution.

Today I bought some ad space on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal and Something*Positive, featuring some fun art that follows the theme of today's strip. If you need your Complete Walky Fix, give their sites a look. If you're a new reader from over there, welcome! I look forward to owning your souls.

Here's a pair of Bumblebees. The one in the back to the left is the normal Concept Bumblebee you can buy for $10 carded. The one on the right is the Bumblebee who comes in the Screen Battles "Capture of Bumblebee" set. There's quite a few major differences with this Screen Battles toy (versus Scorponok, who got a paint wash and Barricade, who got a feature-removing chunk of plastic), the most noticeable being Bumblebee's black plastic being changed to a steel gray. Also, Screen Battles Bumblebee's translucents are a much greener shade of blue, his toes and Autobot symbol are painted silver instead of black, there's a new red Autobot symbol on his forehead, and his face is entirely silver, rather than a pattern of black and silver.

I prefer most of these changes, especially the steel gray plastic. Yellow and black are more striking together, but the steel gray doesn't wash out the loads of detail sculpted into this toy. When he was mostly black, I had a compulsion to bring out all his detail with paint (and I did), but not so much with this version's lighter tones. I'd be okay with keeping this toy as-is. (Though I might tinker with it anyway.)

If you're going to get one version of this toy, I think this is it, though he'll ring you $20 instead of $10. But hey, he comes with Agent Simmons, a Sector 7 agent, and Lennox painted as a Sector 7 agent. And you won't have to take a spotlight to Bumblebee to see what he looks like under all that black.

(The older, black Bumblebee I borrowed from Graham for this photo. As noted above, I painted mine.)

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Ultra Car: Holiday Ultra Car strips come to a close.
Shortpacked!: Welcome to fandom.

You know, every time I conceive of a Shortpacked! comic like today's, with one drawn image, I think, "Hey, sweet, this'll be done quick and easy!" (Like your mom.) But every single time, all the Photoshopping I have to construct around the single drawn image ends up taking much longer than just drawing a normal strip. Why do I never remember this? I repeatedly set myself up for disappointment.

And speaking of repeatedly setting ourselves up for disappointment...


I don't know how many of you care about politics, and I don't care how many of you care about politics. I just really wanted to use that link text.

Also, I'm watching CNN, and Chuck Norris is totally standing right behind Huckabee as he's making his big "I totally won" speech. That is so surreal. This is the longest I've ever seen Chuck Norris go without roundhouse kicking somebody.

Earlier, during the caucus, they filmed this lady who was wearing a Chris Dodd t-shirt. Who the hell is excited enough about Chris Dodd to wear a Chris Dodd t-shirt? That's insane.

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Shortpacked!@TNI: Premature buildup.
Shortpacked!: Goodbye, cheap shots at Ted Kennedy?

If you've read a blog anywhere on the liberal mediaInternet, you probably know what today's strip is referring to. If not, hoo ha. Bruce Tinsley, the cartoonist of Mallard Fillmore, was arrested for DUI. A few months ago, he was arrested for public inebriation. This is terribly wrong, as Mallard Fillmore makes fun of Ted Kennedy for being a dangerous drunk about once a week. America: The Book once did a parody of his strip, for which caused Tinsley to overreact hilariously and write a whole week about how Jon Stewart is impersonating him and in a Gonterman-esque means of revenge, tried to claim that Jon Stewart sleeps with young boys. So, obviously, he's very insecure and has no sense of perspective and lashes out very childishly at everything. Clearly, I must provoke him. He will never notice me, but Lord, this whole thing calls out to me, bully that I am.

Check back tomorrow. There'll be a whole week of 'im.

So long as I'm mocking the too-drunk-to-defend-themselves, it's only fair to link you defamation of my own character. You know I went to college for computer animation? The following is about as good as I got. Definitely not my strong suit. But, please, laugh at my inadequacies. If you can tell what's going on, cookies for you.

This is why I'm in webcomics.

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Shortpacked!: False choice.

Yeah, seriously, no kidding. Like, what the Hell? Everyone on the Official Transformers Club mailing list got forwarded this insulting chain mail from its owner. I pay the club to give me TF stuff. If I wanted to be proselytized to, I'd subscribe to Joyce & Walky!.

I am told I fixed a good turkey today. Nobody's died from food poisoning yet, so that's a good sign. Also, we're watching Superbook.

Maybe I do want to be proselytized to. Well, okay, the Superbook was free.

Speaking of Fridays of various hues, do your Black Friday shopping online! Leave the poor retail workers alone, avoid crazy soccer moms, and try Entertainment Earth instead. I'd suggest Amazon, but, well, I don't get a percentage commission through those links yet. Ha ha ha ha. Eat my sneaky, sneaky capitalism.

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Dealer Table Name Thingos

It's San Diego Comic-Con time! Steve-o and I get to the airport at like zero o'clock tomorrow morning. The convention could turn out to be the worst thing ever, but since we'll be sleep zombies, we wouldn't notice. Fortunately, it's going to be awesome! Lookit all the name tags I've printed out. That's how many BLC folks are going to be there. That's, like, all but two. Two losers, but I digress.

Blank Label Comics' gots a panel on Friday at 10:30! Room 1A, even! You should be there. I will. (I'll also totally be at the two Transformers panels on Thursday at 3 and 4. You couldn't pry me away from there with Allison Mack. Feel free to try, though. I'll enjoy it.)

As per normalness, I will be drawing crazy convention comics while I'm there, to the best of my ability. And again, as per normalness, this presents a possible risk! Will my laptop suck? Will I not be able to get good Internet? See what I mean? But on the other hand, if that all works out, you'll have a new strip every day as I am able. On the weekend! Wow, huh? Let's take that gamble and see how it works out.

So, anyway, today's strip. I was all "Hey, I want to do something silly and lighthearted," but I should really stop watching CNN when I make these decisions, because that's just asking for disappointment. But what was I gonna do? Janeane Garofalo was on Comedy Central, and she makes me want to stab out my eyes and ears. Carrot Top at least brings props, but Garofalo brings nothing but her smug self-satisfaction.

But anyway. I watch the news a lot. It's good background noise, in that it doesn't distract me too much from my drawing by being pretty boring. (But just normal boring, like CNN. MSNBC boring would put me to sleep.) I have, like, no opinion on the whole illegal immigration thing that everyone decided was going to be important this year -- but man, Lou Dobbs sure does. He won't shut up about it. I don't think he even reports the news anymore. He just gets people on the air so he can hate illegal immigration at them. At this point, I hope we invite every country in the world to send everyone here for free, just because I'm a spiteful bitch who wants to see Lou Dobbs get pissed off. One of my favorite things to do is count the seconds from the start of his show until the first mention of immigration. It's never more than fifteen, even if his head is on fire.

But then, I live in Ohio. Maybe if I lived closer to the border, I'd worry more about my strip being taken over by some Mexican, and I'd be all "Right on, Dobbs! You beat that horse!"

But seriously. Toy jokes. Later.