Shortpacked! (shortpacked) wrote,
Shortpacked!
shortpacked

The wedding!

Shortpacked!@TNI: Gravity is a cruel mistress.
Shortpacked!Hey, have our wedding program.

1) Hey, we're married!
2) There are lots of folks over still and we are still busy! 
3) Nobody seems to have pictures up anywhere yet. Dammit.
4) Enjoy the wedding program/minicomic I drew for all the guests, presented as today's "strip."  We printed it out and handed it to all the guests as they entered the Santa Maria.  
5) I wrote our wedding ceremony, too, since it needed to be piratey. Here it is for posterity:

Greetings, fellow pirates, scalliwags, rascals, and buccaneers. We have assembled today to witness the union of the fleets of Captain David Matthew Willis and Captain Maggie Anne Weidner. We gather here today not only to witness this union, but to share with them our accumulated bounty of life's most precious loot: the knowledge of lives lived, of loves loved, and, of course, rum.

Captains David Willis and Maggie Weidner, the seas you will be entering will not always be calm. There may be hardship ahead, full of storms, landlubbers, and even scurvy. But love will always conquer all. So, together, keep a steady hand on your ship's wheel. Plot your course with care.

Never give up.
Never let the other down.
Never run your ship aground, leaving the other behind.
Never cause sorrow.
Never say goodbye.
Never tell falsehoods, nor cause pain.

If any roustabout here objects to this union, speak now, or forever hold your peace.

PIRATE TROUPE MEMBER 1: I object!
PIRATE TROUPE MEMBER 2 SHOOTS PTM1 WITH VERY LOUD PISTOL

Does anyone else object?

GROOMSMEN RATTLE THEIR SWORDS THREATENINGLY
BODY OF PIRATE TROUPE MEMBER 1 IS CARRIED OFF BY PTM2 and PTM3

Let's begin this voyage together. It is in this spirit that you have come here to exchange vows.

DAVID VOWS

MAGGIE VOWS

It was in the book of a great captain who famously stole the keys of death and whose seas washed our sins away, that this great wisdom was imparted:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails

As we share these truths together, we are gathered around David and Maggie. Like the rings they will soon exchange, our love and guidance for them has no beginning and no end. So too will their love for each other never end. Their rings are a visible token of their inner bond, as our presence here is a visible token of our support.

David, take Maggie's ring and put it on her finger, and repeat after me:
With this ring, I, David, take you, Maggie, to be my wife. To have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, as long as I shall live, till death do we part.

Maggie, take David's ring and put it on his finger, and repeat after me:
With this ring, I, Maggie, take you, David, to be my husband. To have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, as long as I shall live, till death do we part.

May this union be blessed, and may the seven seas echo with tales of your love wherever the Jolly Roger flies. Your fleets are now one, and its sails have unfurled. You may both kiss.

SMOOCH-O-RAMA

Fellow pirates, scalliwags, rascals, and buccaneers, I am honored to present Admirals David and Maggie Willis as husband and wife. Yo ho ho, me hearties!

CANNONS FIRE
Tags: pirates, weddings
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  • COMPLETE DINOBOT POWER

    Shortpacked!: Decisions. Hot damn, I lucked out. You know how I was just one Thrustor shy of having every single use of the original Dinobot…

  • The best things in life are free.

    Shortpacked!: Dysfucktional. Hey, it's that strip I Ustreamed a few weeks ago! If you wanna see today's comic being drawn and colored and missed…

  • This is the third TNI in a row that ends in death.

    Shortpacked!@TNI: Guess Breakdown's friend and win my esteem. Shortpacked!: Inconspicuous! Wooooo! Man, I am super gonna like this year's…