January 19th, 2010


Fool! Pain is my friend! Allow me to introduce YOU to-- oh. Hrm.

 Shortpacked!: Honor thy father.  

Hey, guess what, let's keep the whole "blog about stuff I'm photographing for the Transformers Wiki" thing going.  It's not like I got any new toys for you anyhow. 

To the right is Inferno from 2003's Universe line.  No, he's not Red Alert.  He was supposed to be Red Alert.  He's definitely decoed like him!  But someone in Hasbro made a dumb mistake and they didn't catch it until it was too late.  So he was Inferno.  You can imagine the fan outrage.  You were so close, Hasbro!  So close!

But 3H, who was writing the profiles for the Universe toys, took the lemons they received and turned them into lemonade.  Universe was a multiversal conflict, right?  Well, he can still be Inferno. 

He can be motherfuckin' Beast Wars Inferno.

So Inferno-the-dumb-mistake became Inferno-the-friggin'-awesome.  This toy became an alternate universe Beast Wars Inferno who was poached by Unicron, given a new body, and freed by Optimus Primal.  Despite being an Autobot, he still has all the hang-ups of your usual Beast Wars Inferno.  He's blindingly loyal, he has no sense of self-preservation, and he calls Primal his "Queen."  The trick is, despite Inferno being a murderous pyromaniac, his new body has only life-preserving weapons.  His missile launchers shoot not flames but flame-retardant foam.  So, yeah, crisis. 

It's a great character concept, and I really wish it had seen some fiction.  The profile itself was never actually put up on the website because the way Hasbro's site worked at the time, it woulda overwritten Energon Inferno's profile.  And then 3H was no more before they could throw him into a story.  That's always disappointed me. 

Ah well.  I still have my toy.  And I can still pose him standing at attention, saluting his Queen.