November 17th, 2009



Shortpacked!: You Are (Not) Good at Socializing

Today we bought the first chapter of Rebuild of Evangelion on DVD, as you might have guessed. I was musing how despite my love for Evangelion, I'd never drawn a Shortpacked! strip about it. Maggie immediately suggested one, basically writing this strip for me, and I drew it this afternoon, shoving what would have been tonight's back a day. We here at Shortpacked! have a long tradition regarding terrible smiles, and we're proud to continue it.

So not only does this wave of Justice League Unlimited three-packs feature Fat Lady and Old Man, but it also features three of the goddamn Super Friends. It's weird, 'cuz, you know, Justice League actually featured updated, de-embarrassified versions of these characters as the Ultimen. But for some reason we're getting an Apache Chief figure before we get a Long Shadow. Ooookay.

Don't mistake my boggling for displeasure. I can't wrap my head around why we have these guys, but I'm pretty stoked to have them. I have to admit, though, that a large amount of my fondess for Apache Chief and Black Vulcan comes from their appearances on Harvey Birdman. Samurai, uh, I don't really have feelings for.

These are, for all intents and purposes, Hanna-Barbera characters. HB created the trio for Super Friends to ethnically diversify their cast, albeit in casually-offensive ways. For example, Samurai was apparently a history professor before he got his, uh, not-so-samurai-themed wind powers. That's just offensive to our education system, 'cuz I'm pretty sure a history professor should probably know what a samurai looks like.

(Hint: Actual samurai wore pants.)

Just like the cardbacks for the Captain Marvel characters, who also had no cartoon appearances, these three also have images of character model turnarounds in lieu of screen captures. And, ha, Mattel only claims trademark on Black Vulcan. Apparently "Samurai" and "Apache Chief" aren't names they feel they can claim. (I remember how Seanbaby once likened Apache Chief's name to "Minnesota President.")

Super Friends seemed basically dead-set against giving any of their size-changing characters pants, so there were probably upskirt pics of Giganta and Apache Chief all over its universe's Internet. So what is the color of Apache Chief's infamous lap? Well, apparently it's brown, no surprise, but it's also mispainted. Oops. At least Mattel didn't paint ball-hair hanging out the one side.

Do I put these guys with my Justice League Unlimited display? Do I pretend they were sort of around offscreen, like I do with Mary Batson? I do want to keep them out somewhere, at the very least, because they're awesome. If only they were bigger, or I could have them hang out with my Phil Ken Sebben and bear. Oh well. I'll figure this out.