January 5th, 2009


Finally, he can throw one of those things through Duke's heart.

Shortpacked!: A much-needed recap, since it's been like two and a half weeks!

Yesterday I found the "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!" DVD figure pack. Sure, it comes with Code Name: Montezuma's Skeleton, and I guess a Dusty and another BAT, but I may implore you to consider that Serpentor is the real prize.

But, David, you may counter, there've been two other Serpentors already!

And after instinctively calling your mother a whore for daring to question me, I will explain. Those other Serpentors were lacking! The first one was beautifully painted, but not sufficiently 1980s goofy. The second one came with the Air Chariot, but was not very painted at all. But this third one is sufficiently 1980s goofy! ... and still not very painted. Hrm.

The third one is so close! He's got the cobra hood on his back. He's got the snake tails coiling around his pectorals. He's got a snake-head-ier helmet. He's got motherfuggin' snakes to throw like spears. He's almost got it all! But he doesn't have the paint and he doesn't have the Air Chariot.

So that's where excessive force and glue come into play. Let's start by removing all of the things we want from Serpentor #3. After the helmet, the pec coils are the easiest. They're like web gear, and they can slide right off his shoulders. Removing the hood is more adventurous. It's glued into that back-mounted peghole damn well! I yanked it off anyway, though, taking practically nothing of the peg with it. Oops.

The cape has to go, too, because if you glue the hood on the unadorned back of Serpentor #1, the old cape won't fit around his neck. Serpentor #3's cape has a hole cut into it at the top. So you gotta yank that out, too, from both figures.

Then it's glue time! Glue the hood on the back of Serpentor #1, glue the cape onto the shoulders of Serpentor #1, and for good measure... glue on that pectoral gear, too. Just a drop where it meets in the center. That crap is way too loose. And don't forget the helmet!

Now place this amalgamated Serpentor #1/#3 on Serpentor #2's Air Chariot, and you're good to go!

The best Serpentor ever. ...so long as there's not a Serpentor #4 with snake mittens.

Today's plug: Real Life Book 2 preorder!