April 26th, 2007


(no subject)

Shortpacked!: I'm not exactly sure what he's trying for with that accent.

Robo-J.O.E.!I opened up Robo-J.O.E. the night after I put up pictures of him carded. He's been on my desk since. But Masterpiece Megatron came in the next day, and, well, you know.

I adore Robo-J.O.E. I adore his orange that's almost-but-not-quite the same shade of creamsicle as Sunstorm. I adore his ridiculous armor and his ridiculous half-cyborg face. I adore the crazy-ass 45-degree angle his gun handles protrude, requiring him to aim his arms down so he can shoot straight. I adore that this cyborg robocop comes with a machete.

I especially adore the standard G.I. Joe figure stand he comes with, despite it being designed for much skinnier figures, so he's always standing about halfway off of it. And I adore most of all that the black parts of his armor are splattered with orange speckles, making him look like he's made out of jawbreaker. Perhaps part of his plan of revenge on Destro is to make him salivate profusely when Robo-J.O.E. first shows up, Pavlov-style, too busy thinking of delicious lickety jawbreakers to mount a formidable counterattack.

What I don't adore is that opaque black helmet he comes with. Why would you cover the cyborg head? That's an appalling idea.

He does indeed come with a trading card. The face of it is a photo of a guy dressed up like Frostbite fighting a guy dressed up like an Alley-Viper. Weird. On the back is a small text write-up of their encounter. At the bottom is a "G.I. Joe Collector's Tip." Thanks! "When starting your collection, it's good to begin with a collector's guide that lists all the items made on a yearly basis." You know, Hasbro, I don't really need help fully realizing my OCD. I mean, if I did, I probably wouldn't have OCD. But hey, kudos for helping uncloset the young OCDers of tomorrow!

Soon I will open up Destro and Robo-J.O.E. will finally have his revenge. CYBER revenge!

I'm telling you, guys. I'm going to bring him back. I'm going to pimp him in my comic strip so hard until he is thrust continuously into the public Internet consciousness, slowly making him a cult favorite, and finally culminating in a full-blown revival. There will be a new Robo-J.O.E. toy ever year. Just you watch. The next whole six months of Shortpacked! are going to be all about Robo-J.O.E.

Or gay jokes. I haven't decided.

BotCon.com is being lightning-quick with their toy preview updates. Thrust went up today, and as speculated, he's retooled to have his appropriate VTOL wings and tailfins. Those are great and all, and they are indeed awesome, but I don't want to understate how awesome it is that he has other colors on him. Like, there's yellow and blue, albeit in small amounts! Those small touches make me very happy. He'd be pretty boring without them.