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Shortpacked! - Inyuk-Chuk!
November 17th, 2009
11:03 pm
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Inyuk-Chuk!
Shortpacked!: You Are (Not) Good at Socializing

Today we bought the first chapter of Rebuild of Evangelion on DVD, as you might have guessed. I was musing how despite my love for Evangelion, I'd never drawn a Shortpacked! strip about it. Maggie immediately suggested one, basically writing this strip for me, and I drew it this afternoon, shoving what would have been tonight's back a day. We here at Shortpacked! have a long tradition regarding terrible smiles, and we're proud to continue it.

So not only does this wave of Justice League Unlimited three-packs feature Fat Lady and Old Man, but it also features three of the goddamn Super Friends. It's weird, 'cuz, you know, Justice League actually featured updated, de-embarrassified versions of these characters as the Ultimen. But for some reason we're getting an Apache Chief figure before we get a Long Shadow. Ooookay.

Don't mistake my boggling for displeasure. I can't wrap my head around why we have these guys, but I'm pretty stoked to have them. I have to admit, though, that a large amount of my fondess for Apache Chief and Black Vulcan comes from their appearances on Harvey Birdman. Samurai, uh, I don't really have feelings for.

These are, for all intents and purposes, Hanna-Barbera characters. HB created the trio for Super Friends to ethnically diversify their cast, albeit in casually-offensive ways. For example, Samurai was apparently a history professor before he got his, uh, not-so-samurai-themed wind powers. That's just offensive to our education system, 'cuz I'm pretty sure a history professor should probably know what a samurai looks like.

(Hint: Actual samurai wore pants.)

Just like the cardbacks for the Captain Marvel characters, who also had no cartoon appearances, these three also have images of character model turnarounds in lieu of screen captures. And, ha, Mattel only claims trademark on Black Vulcan. Apparently "Samurai" and "Apache Chief" aren't names they feel they can claim. (I remember how Seanbaby once likened Apache Chief's name to "Minnesota President.")

Super Friends seemed basically dead-set against giving any of their size-changing characters pants, so there were probably upskirt pics of Giganta and Apache Chief all over its universe's Internet. So what is the color of Apache Chief's infamous lap? Well, apparently it's brown, no surprise, but it's also mispainted. Oops. At least Mattel didn't paint ball-hair hanging out the one side.

Do I put these guys with my Justice League Unlimited display? Do I pretend they were sort of around offscreen, like I do with Mary Batson? I do want to keep them out somewhere, at the very least, because they're awesome. If only they were bigger, or I could have them hang out with my Phil Ken Sebben and bear. Oh well. I'll figure this out.

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From:darth_shadow
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:06 am (UTC)
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What? No Batman punching someone?
From:otakux
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:06 am (UTC)
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Wait. You like Transformers, G.I.JOE, Batman, AND Evangelion? I am a heterosexual male, but I now wish to have a gay sex affair with you.
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From:dvandom
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:09 am (UTC)
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I half expected something like that out of Rei when I watched it tonight too, despite having seen the original long long ago. :)
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From:doolingiguana
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:12 am (UTC)
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Dammit, now I'm going to have to start collecting JLU figures. Have they ever released a short-haired, orange-shirted Aquaman in this style and scale?
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From:doolingiguana
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:29 am (UTC)
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Unfortunately, I just remembered that the only JLU-styled Hal Jordan figure is a convention exclusive, and thus is probably going to be super-expensive now. I think he was only in his civilian outfit, too.

I think my dream of having the Challenge of the Superfriends lineup in plastic form is going to have to wait a bit longer.
From:seanwhitmore
Date:November 18th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
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He does come in civilian clothes (barely), but his head is made to pop off and fit on either the Sinestro or Abin Sur bodies. So you can have a maskless Hal in either his early-Silver Age or later-Silver Age costumes. :)
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From:doolingiguana
Date:November 18th, 2009 05:47 pm (UTC)
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Still, the little things keep adding up. The JLU Aquaman looks nothing like the Superfriends Aquaman, the JLU Hal Jordan is maskless and his Bruce Timm design looks significantly different from Alex Toth's (mostly due to the crew-cut,) there's no Wonder Twins figures (which isn't really such a bad thing, but still) and I'd have to find a blue/grey version of Batman that's not some atmosphere-destroying, net-launching version. Plus I'm not sure if they made a JLU Hawkman figure.

I think it'd be better to just wait and see if the Superfriends characters are ever released in a DCIH-type line. It should be much easier to find silver age versions of the main Justice League regulars in that scale and style. Plus they have elbows and knees.
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From:shortpacked
Date:November 19th, 2009 12:49 am (UTC)
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There's a Hawkman and a few blue/gray Batmen by now. Both of them are pretty recent, IIRC.
From:chrisascended
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:46 am (UTC)
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Wow. I was never much of a DCAU guy (aside from Batman Beyond, which I loved with a passion when I was younger, the rest of the shows never seemed to come on at the right time), so I had no idea about the Ultimen. An actually awesome-looking version of the Wonder Twins just blows my mind completely.
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From:sabre_justice
Date:November 18th, 2009 06:30 am (UTC)
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You should see their Aquaman. And what happens when they meet.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:50 am (UTC)
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Hmm, is Maggie secretly reading Mecha Fetus?

http://visublog.mechafetus.com/archives/630
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From:shortpacked
Date:November 18th, 2009 05:53 am (UTC)
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Nah. She was referencing the second Shortpacked! strip, as linked above.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 18th, 2009 05:48 am (UTC)
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There should be a button on Black Vulcan to make him say "In my pants..."
From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 18th, 2009 06:30 am (UTC)
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Or "They only created me to screw Tony Isabella over."
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From:destron_gmx245
Date:November 22nd, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
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It IS funny that his costume is primarily a giant arrow pointing to his junk... =X^D
From:seanwhitmore
Date:November 18th, 2009 06:34 am (UTC)
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Great Christ in the morning, I'm gonna have to buy Evangelion again.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 18th, 2009 07:46 am (UTC)
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I've never understood End of Evangelion, and probably never will.

- FFN
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From:cmdr_zoom
Date:November 19th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
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Hideaki Anno desperately needs medication and/or therapy.
There. You're welcome.
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From:jin_saotome
Date:November 18th, 2009 08:45 am (UTC)
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How's the Rebuild series? I watched the originals years ago when they first hit the USA, 12 years ago I bet. Then some Death n Rebirth thing that raised more questions than it answered (and pissed me off with people being killed/eaten/end of world crap). Will Rebuild piss me off like a normal reboot of a canon series usually does? Aka Marvel's Heroes Reborn and that Spiderman/Mephisto memory wipe crap?
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From:neroman
Date:November 18th, 2009 09:33 am (UTC)
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put them with the birdman set, position them near reducto to explain any scale issues.
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From:landbasered
Date:November 18th, 2009 09:59 am (UTC)
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Brilliant!

Wait... they made a reducto?
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From:shortpacked
Date:November 18th, 2009 03:25 pm (UTC)
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I don't think the Reductor set came out. Palisades died first.
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From:buzzard_t2
Date:November 18th, 2009 10:10 am (UTC)
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Solomon Grundy want pants TOO!

I say pose them off to the side along with all the other Pantsless Heroes- Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Martian Manhunter, Bwana Beast, etc.- and see how long it takes people to notice. Cheetah could join them since she doesn't wear any kind of britches at all, but not Black Canary, because she has fishnets and fishnets are like pants that aren't trying very hard.

The Ethnic Superfriends are a great example of Wacky Racism: tone deaf racial or cultural insensitivity based more on ignorance than hatred or intolerance, usually well-meaning and often played for comedic effect. Pretty much every non-White character DC made before, say... 1980, was Wacky Racism in action; the 1970 issue of Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane where Lois uses SCIENCE! to change herself into Black Lois, Asian Lois, etc. was jaw dropping.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 18th, 2009 07:54 pm (UTC)
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One of the Seven Samurai, Kikuchiyo, was often pantless. One could fairly argue that he wasn't really a Samurai, but on the other hand, if one of the Seven Samurai isn't a fair role model, who is?

Scroll down a bit here to see his picture. (http://www.willamette.edu/~rloftus/jfilm/sevsamschar.html) (Work safe. He's not that pantless).
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From:grysar
Date:November 18th, 2009 07:57 pm (UTC)

That was me

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I didn't realize I wasn't logged in.
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From:gwalla
Date:November 18th, 2009 09:27 pm (UTC)
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Don't forget Wonder Woman's black half-sister, Nubia.
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From:kingandy
Date:November 18th, 2009 11:13 am (UTC)
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I am going to pretend that your link to Seanbaby today was a direct result of my link to Seanbaby yesterday.

I AM THE LAST OF THE TIME LORDS AND I CAN DO ANYTHING.
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From:deriksmith
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:21 pm (UTC)
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HUBRIS! PRIDE COMETH BEFORE THE FALL!
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From:kingandy
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:53 pm (UTC)
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NOOOOO
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From:deriksmith
Date:November 18th, 2009 11:12 pm (UTC)
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IT'S TOO LATE, YOUR FATE IS WRITTEN IN YOUR OWN ACTIONS!
VIDISTI, ACTISTI, EXPLECISTI!

(And come Christmas, we shall all have awaken to bad dreams.)
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From:viscous
Date:November 18th, 2009 02:40 pm (UTC)
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Hey, there's an article on Comics Alliance featuring something I think you did.

http://www.comicsalliance.com/2009/11/17/batman-can-breathe-in-space-but-not-the-flash/
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From:prodigal
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:32 pm (UTC)
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You could put them on a reservation.
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From:shortpacked
Date:November 18th, 2009 04:42 pm (UTC)
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OHHH!!!!!!
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From:prodigal
Date:November 18th, 2009 05:07 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I went there.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 18th, 2009 05:34 pm (UTC)

"Terrible smiles" link

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Wow, Amber really looked different in 2005, didn't she? I've come late to the strip and would never have recognized her if Ethan hadn't called her by name.

Paul
From:zepherdossier
Date:November 18th, 2009 05:40 pm (UTC)
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I loved today's strip. Made me guffaw at work, lucky i have an office and my co-workers can't hear me.

that scene had some serious cheese associated with it, and you tweaked it perfectly.

From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 18th, 2009 05:55 pm (UTC)
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What the--you're an Evangelion fan? OH! So much of the drama in It's Walky makes sense now! THAT'S what you were going for! Well, perhaps not intentionally. Either way, I can now match up the feeling of reading It's Walky with that old feeling when I originally watched Evangelion. Very similar; I just was never able to pinpoint it. Interesting!

- Alexx
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From:irregularcog
Date:November 18th, 2009 05:57 pm (UTC)
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From:shortpacked
Date:November 18th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
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From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 18th, 2009 10:30 pm (UTC)
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why does everyone keep making that joke about the smile? I have the DVDs right here, Reis smile isn't at all freakish. Its kind of bizarre how long this joke has survived for, it has pretty much no basis.
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From:shortpacked
Date:November 19th, 2009 12:47 am (UTC)
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The point is it would be funny if her smile WERE freakish. Her smile is fine in the anime. That's why subverting the idea of her very-okay smile is funny.
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